I LOVE it. I just love seeing black women’s faces (and bodies) on the cover of those international magazines. Totally insane hair has never looked so good. Last time the island pop star was on the cover of Vogue, she was gracing Teen Vogue Mag back when she still had short black locks. Today, she’s all grown up and looking high fashion on the April issue of the mainstream Vogue.

I think it is a far cry from the Gabourey Sidibe fiasco on the cover of Elle that I talked about here and I think we need to see more covers like these. I am not saying it because Ms. Sidibe is not a size 2, but because so much more effort and work was put into making Rihanna look fab for this issue. Side note, Queen Latifah also has an entire page of her Cover Girl ad on the back cover. So this month, Vogue is black woman cover to cover.

It is about time that we are represented on a larger scale under the best possible light. Gracing the cover of Essence, and being told that we should go out and kiss a white guy as a bucket list item, before we get married to our black prince, does not count as placing ourselves as players on the international stage.

Anonymous asks:

“Recently, I tried online dating. I keep myself open to all quality men but I happen to prefer white men because, well, that’s my preference. I find that a lot of times on their profile, when they check off their racial preferences, it’s everything BUT  a black woman. Literally… They list the races they are open to and all of them are there except for ‘black/african-american’. Often times, these are men who are 95% compatible with me (well, at least according to match.com lol). What do I do?”

Do not make contact and if they make contact with you, I would say ignore it. That’s my opinion. It might sound counterproductive to reject a compatible match on an online dating site, but what does it say about a man who takes his time to check off every race BUT  a black woman? is that who you want in your life? Would you put your dignity aside just to get a date? Being single is not a disease and we shouldn’t be that desperate. I’d rather make contact with a man who said ‘no preference/no answer’. It shows that he’s too chicken to say he likes black women, but at least he is not a racist. Heck, I’d have more respect for a white man who says he only wants white women. I wouldn’t consider him for a date but people are programmed to mostly like people of their own race so I would have no grudge. But a man who ENSURES he checks off: spanish, white, asian, indian and purposefully leaves out black? As my cousin would say: “Nah-uh…Nossa… I’m good.”

What if he is white? Would that make it ok? What if he is black? Is it a way of contributing to black community? Ladies, let me make this clear, when you have out of wedlock children, your worth is dramatically decreased in the eyes of most men, no matter what their race is. If you have kids, they will have no problem getting next to you because they know that you are DTF (down to fuck) since your kid is proof that you’ve been there, done that. However, do not fool yourselves into thinking that the majority are looking to, as the hood people would say, “wife you up”. So why would you do the same for them?

White men generally have minimal interest in women with kids, being black reduces that interest to almost zero. Christelyn Karazin of Beyond Black and White and founder of No Wedding No Womb, is the rare exception to that rule and I’d be hard pressed to find another example.

Although it’s unfair to good women who made bad decisions, that attitude is understandable because a whole, and in comparison to men of other races, white men in America tend to have a lot offer, thus a lot to lose. It makes sense to think that a man would not want his efforts and success to go to a child that does not look like him, that did not come from him and whose biological father did not have the sense of responsibility to care for him or her. So now, here comes pretty little you, with a lot to offer and free as a bird. Why in the world would you make the concession and be willing to raise another woman’s child?

I once had a conversation with a white man who said that one of his coworkers took in his wife son, adopted him and gave him his last name. He said he didn’t understand how a man could raise another man’s son. I looked right into his eyes and gave a genuine full bellied laugh while pointing out that he himself was a father of two with a woman he was not married to. If a man with kids can snub his nose at a woman with kids, I think we childless women should be allowed to be even more discriminatory in our pickings.

But we still haven’t talked about black men, what about them? Should we be raising kids they had with other women? After all, we always complain that they don’t wish to marry and refuse to grow up. So if a black man is looking to get serious, should you yield? Again, no. Black men in American society are unfortunately at the bottom of the hierarchy. We could go all day about why, or whose fault it is, but that’s another discussion for another time. It’s neither here, nor there. The point that is relevant to this post is that they are not at the top of their game.

I find that with black men, if they are just getting by and doing the most basic things in life (like having a job or not having a felony on their record) they think they can be very picky with black women. Why shouldn’t we be picky as well? Especially if we actually have something to offer? Remember, black men are not a hot commodity because they are sought after partners, they are a commodity because some of us keep giving them the time of day while they don’t bother to return the favor. The value of something will only go up, as long as you are checking for it. It’s the law of supply and demand, Freshman year Macro Economics 106. They are not checking for single mothers and we, fine, intelligent and childless women should not be checking for them either and watch their stock plummet.

The context of the video according to the title is a disagreement that stems from a missing pack of cigarettes. For obvious reasons, any fight over a item under 10 bucks is silly. But a fight such as this one over ANYTHING is also silly. So now when you combine the two factors, both a low value product as well as the excessive violence demonstrated by this beasts, words simply fail me. Would it be out of line to say that I am afraid of African American people? Some would say yes, because that statement is racist and a gross generalization of the black race in America. Then I must counter with the fact that I’d rather be safe than sorry. That I would prefer to be cautious of you, find out I was wrong and be forced to extend an apology than to let my guard down only to discover that you are one of them.

To those of us who work and have our paychecks be systematically raped by the government for our tax dollars, now you can see where it’s going: gladiator style housing projects. If you are not outraged by this video alone and even more so by the context, I have to wonder if you have the same level of brain function as those who participated in the fight.

For those who have read a few of my posts, you already know that I love lists. And for the purpose of this video, I think that making a list to point out the top 5 things that are ass backwards in this video to show that how people like that do not fit in with the rest of society, is quite appropriate.

1. Between 6 and 8 seconds, there is a woman with a giant kitchen knife.
2. Right at 18 seconds a male jumps in… Honestly I never expected him to break up the fight like a real man should, and he didn’t disappoint. He attacked a woman instead.
3. At 53 seconds, there’s this beastly looking female (I assume because of what appears to be breasts on her chest) creature with a makeshift weapon. I’m going to guess she’s been in the slammer. Homemade weaponry that is easily accessible is not a real life skill that the rest of us acquire. This looks like someone who’s been in a lot of yard fights over cigarettes before.
4. There are children all throughout the video just crying! This proves that we learn to be desensitized to violence and that it is not something we are born with, regardless of what defective genetic pool we come from, ie parents such as these.
5. At 1mn50secs, a male walks up, looks down at a trio of females on the ground and walks away. Again, no move to break up the fight.

With all these people on the sidelines, no one, and I mean no one makes a move to break up the fight or call the police. This would never happen in mainstream America because the minute arguments get heated, the initial reaction (the logical one as well) to do is to notify law enforcement so the safety of those present is not compromised. But those in the video don’t care about the safety of others or their own. They are just delighted by what to them is a form of entertainment.

This mindset is reflective of individuals with no empathy for people from their communities, for people who look like them or people who live in the same housing complex. I don’t know those individuals and I cringed at the certain pain that most of them felt as they got hit. At the same time, the male who is filming chuckles and gives us a play by play with his “Bam! Bam!” as he witnesses the animal-like actions first hand.

Violence of that nature would terrify me if I witnessed it in person. However, that’s on the only thing that scares me. Knowing that the cycle will not be broken is even more terrifying. This is clearly learned behavior and there are children in the video picking up on those cues. For now they are crying, as they should be, but give it a few years and this will be normal. A few more years, and they will be participating. So even when those folks die out, either from old age or an early death at the hand of an other violent criminal, there will be a new crop of mentally ill (yes, because you have to be crazy to act like that) people to take their place. So our children will not be any safer than we were.

What do you think of all the BW bashing that is rampant on YouTube and other sites?? I won’t name names, but there is a core group of people in particular(may be the same person with different SNs??)who  post on the BWE blogs and stir up all kinds of BS. How do you respond to them, if, at all??

IMO, there are 3 types of BW bashers and with different types, come different responses. You just have to identify them and know how to deal and when to high tail in the other direction.

The Emotional Basher: He had his heart broken by a black woman. He doesn’t know how to deal and now all black women are spawn of the devil’s ass crack. I think he is the most fragile of all bashers. He is having an emotional response so his brain is clouded right now, yet there is hope. Once he heals his broken heart/soul he will recover. However, in order for that to happen, you have to address him. The last thing you want to do is prove him right by shutting him down and creating the perfect environment for him to go rogue and become an Angry Basher (see below). With time, the EB will most likely come to his senses.

The Ignorant Basher: He doesn’t know any better. This man is in need of a fresh perspective outside of the one he has received from his toxic environment. Maybe all his female relatives were no good black women and he hasn’t been exposed to the better side of the coin. Maybe, his male role models are DBRBM who didn’t teach him anything else. But, if the IB is an intelligent man who really is looking for a dialogue, there is the possibility to turn the ship around. If you are rational with him and he has the capability to think for himself, all you have to do is provide evidence that HIS reality is not necessarily true for the rest of the world and he will most likely do the right thing.

The Angry Basher: Lord have mercy. This is the basher you should NEVER address. He is stupid, he is angry and he is mean. The worst part is, he doesn’t even know why he is angry anymore, because that’s how long he has been mad. Nothing he says makes sense. It doesn’t have to since it is simply designed to get a rise out of you.

He got shot in the ass while playing basketball and you know what? It is the black woman’s fault. I’ll tell you why… He was out playing ball because the white man won’t hire him. The black woman is a slut for white men and the white man only wants to give HER  the job so she can suck his dick while he eats his lunch. If only The Man hired him, he wouldn’t be outside on a Wednesday morning playing ball in the hood in the line of fire. The possibility  that the $300 he owed Pooky could have triggered the shooting did not even cross his mind. It all happened because we (Black Women) stay with the White Man’s cock down our throat.

My advice? If your BS meter is going off and the argument is making less and less sense, walk away. It could be an Angry Basher. If I’m lying, feel free to let me know.

Anonymous asks:

My friend is getting married this summer. She has never lived with her boyfriend although they have been together 3+ years. What if they move in and it doesn’t work out? What do you think about people living together before they get married?

Shacking up and playing house is not my thing. When you move in with someone, there is no guarantee that they are going to marry you. If it doesn’t work out, this person is now out there with information about you that no one else should know, because when you live with someone, there is no privacy. It’s their house too. Is that the kind of privilege you want to give someone if they haven’t committed to you? I don’t judge people who do it, but that’s not my cup of tea.

I believe that there is a certain vulnerability that you should not expose to a mere boyfriend. Also, there certain privileges they should not receive such as your cooking, cleaning and other household chore efforts. That is a lot to invest in something might not work out. Sure, a marriage might not work out, but if a marriage gets dissolved, you will be more secure than if it’s just a boyfriend because your ex-husband has a responsibility to you that you ex-boyfriend doesn’t. And yes, it is about money and social status. Because if you spend years cooking, cleaning, and having sex with a man, it’s an investment of your efforts (which are invaluable), so you should get some security in return, like his last name and the doors said last name opens, his social circles and his alimony check.

When a man wants to move in, he is looking out for number 1 (himself) and trying to get something for nothing (your efforts without his commitment), so you need to learn to protect your own interests and say no.

Anonymous asks:

Are you ever going to show your face?

If I do, I will have to start being nice to people. So the answer is no.

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend wants oral because I am not ready for sex, but I don’t like the way he smells down there. How do I tell him without hurting his feelings?

Ok, let me start off by saying, if you are using the term “down there” you probably are not old enough to be reading this blog. I am sure your family would think I am a terrible influence on you. BUT you ask a question and I WILL answer…

Girl, do not put your mouth on anything that smells. You don’t know if it’s an infection or just ball sweat, so err on the side of caution. I am dead serious. If he is not sick and just jock sweat, don’t be afraid to suggest he takes a shower. If you can trust that he won’t jump your bones right there (he will probably try), maybe you can take a shower with him so he feels less self-conscious about washing up for you.

Just remember that you should never have to do something you don’t want to. If you feel uncomfortable it’s ok to stop. Good luck!



Anonymous asks:

You claim to be pretty, yet you are still single. Is it because you are waiting for a white savior? Would you rather be single than date a black man?

Wow. Did you come up with that all on your own? I know I am supposed to be ANSWERING and not asking questions, but I have to say this: What do you say to black women who stay single because they wait for their black prince? Your question shows that you have no critical thinking skills. You have very little information besides the fact that I said I was single. I never said I wasn’t dating. Just that I was single, as in not in a relationship.

But to answer your question, no. I am not waiting for anyone, black or white. I live my life and I keep myself open to different possibilities.